Nobody even needs to open their mouth and you’re already feeling it. If you’re getting teased and made fun of and called names on a daily basis, there’s no way that’s not going to get inside of you-particularly when you’re already feeling so much shame. Bullying puts you in a place where, later, you have so much unlearning to do. When I left Halifax to go to Toronto in grade eleven, I thought the bullying would lessen, in regard to what people were clearly bullying me about. I went to a different school every year during high school, so I never really had that single teacher mentor. I don’t think I ever actually saw The Bodyguard. My dad was more jazz-Shirley Horn, Ruth Brown. My mum’s music was a lot of Cat Stevens and Sting. And Annie Lennox, Medusa.I think that had a lot to do with the cover. When I was a little kid, all I wanted my parents to play was the Bodyguard soundtrack. I spent a lot of my childhood in the woods. When I’m in those spaces, my whole body will relax. I’ve noticed as an adult how nourishing and crucial it is for me to feel connected to nature. I would watch them hop along for hours, probably because of how tiny they were. My dad had a cabin on the south shore of Nova Scotia with no running water or electricity. When I say I couldn’t have ever imagined feeling that way, I mean that with every sense of me. To go out in a group of new people and be able to engage in a way where I didn’t feel this constant sensation to flee from my body, this never-ending sensation of anxiety and nervousness and wanting out. So the greatest joy is just being able to feel present, literally, just to be present. It’s indescribable, because I’m just like, there I am.
I know I look different to others, but to me I’m just starting to look like myself.
What have I learned from transitioning? I can’t overstate the biggest joy, which is really seeing yourself. Here, in his own words, he talks about his childhood, his career, his transition, and his life, though not necessarily in that order. That’s made him the target of indescribable hate but has also brought him unimaginable joy. In December 2020, after disclosing that he is transgender, the Oscar-nominated actor and star of Netflix’s The Umbrella Academy (Season Three out June 22) became the most famous trans man on the planet.
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